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ASK DR. JILLIAN: My son found my vibrator … what do I say?

Raising Kids |

My son just found my vibrator – how do I explain it?

First of all, good for you for valuing your own sexual pleasure. There is no need to feel shame or embarrassment about this. Sure, it’s an awkward situation, but you have done nothing wrong. How you talk to you child about it depends on their age.

For Younger Kids:

Simply say that the vibrator is private and belongs to you. Something like, “Oh, that is mine. It is something that is private.” You do not need to name it or elaborate in any way.

For Older Kids/Tweens:

For older kids who have a greater understanding of sexuality, say that it is something you use during sex to make the experience more enjoyable. You do not need to go into detail. But ensure that the tone of your conversation destigmatizes and normalizes healthy sexuality.

Overall, it’s integral to embrace your sexuality so that your child will grow up to value theirs. How you handle these types of conversations will help your child as they shape their own views on sexuality. Making these conversations taboo or off-limits in your house will likely send your child to friends or Google for answers. Be the one they can come to with any question.

Need help talking to your kids about the realities of sex? Check out our courses for parents of young kids, preteens and teens.