ASK DR. JILLIAN – Should I tell my son I think he’s gay?

Raising Teens |

I suspect my 15-year-old son is gay but he hasn’t come out to me, or anyone that I know of, yet. Should I let him know my suspicions and that I will love him no matter what?

Summer is a beautiful time of celebrating love, inclusion and respect via Pride festivals and parades. But if you suspect your child is gay, bi, trans or otherwise and they haven’t come out yet DON’T do it for them. While it may seem supportive and kind to let your child know that you suspect they’re gay and will love them regardless, it’s not your job – nor is it ever appropriate – to out them.That is their choice and their moment, so every aspect of it belongs to them.

That being said, you can show your support, acceptance and love for your child by making your home and lifestyle LGBTQ+ friendly. Observe pride week. Talk openly about your respect for people who embrace their true selves and live authentically. If you know a same-sex couple, invite them over. But do it all in as natural a way as possible so it doesn’t feel like a cheezy attempt to push your teen into speaking up. Strive instead to normalize sexual diversity. Celebrate it! Make it easy for your child to come out when they’re ready, knowing you will greet them with unconditional love and acceptance.


– If you have a question for Dr. Jillian, just submit via DM on social media (@thefamilysparks) or email